Mental Illness

I'm 22 years old. On the outside I look pretty normal -for having tattoos and piercings. I am outgoing, have a warm smile, and can land pretty much any job I interview for. I've had over 15 of them - the longest period of time employed: 7 months; shortest amount of time: 1 day.
I have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't have the space to write an extensive list of symptoms but according to the NIMH it "is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior." I also suffer from extreme anxiety. My immune system is weak so I get sick a lot. Having a job is almost unbearable. I do well for about the first week, then irrational thoughts begin to cycle through my head - pressure to keep a job to provide for my family; pressure to outperform everyone; pressure to not fail in the eyes of those I care about. This mental state causes me to become sick, so I'm not able to go to work, which increases the pressure. I feel like I am a defective person - and I just quit. I am so immobilized by anxiety that I don't call in to quit - I just stop going. I cannot tell prospective employers that there are some days that I won't know until right before work that I can't do it that day. I would never get hired - and I've burned a lot of bridges with previous employers because of this. I am too afraid to tell a current employer that I can't come in because I'm having a severe panic attack. I haven't worked long enough to qualify for social security, and because I don't have a physical handicap, I don't qualify for disability. I was lucky enough to have worked at one company long enough to have portability insurance, which my family pays for. Otherwise much needed medication would cost $150 a month. And the psychologist I see would be another $160 a week. I do not know if I will ever be able to hold down a job, or support myself. I depend on others for most everything.
There are so many others that suffer from mental illness on a daily basis with no one to turn to. Employers must realize that mental illness is just as crippling as physical illness. Those that see my "cutting" scars need to know I struggle every day - sometimes just to get out of bed. While I'm learning new behaviors, be patient with me.